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Couples with babies. More than one in three babies born in the U.S. today
is born to unmarried parents -- but most of the parents are couples who are
romantically involved and hope to raise their child together. The goal of
raising the child together is a good one, as studies clearly show that all family
members tend to benefit when parents stay together. Children raised to
adulthood by the same two parents tend to be happier, healthier, less likely to
get in trouble, and even to do better in school. And adults tend to be happier,
healthier, have better sex lives, and be better off financially if they marry and
stay married.
Stresses on families. Staying together can benefit a family, but it can also
be tough. As lovable as babies are, they need lots of care. With sleepless
nights and less time for each other, parents can feel the stress. In fact, even
among couples who are married and decide to have a baby, as many as 2 out of
3 feel a major drop in happiness as a couple in the early years after the baby is
born.
Stresses may be even greater on unmarried couples. Not sure if they'll marry,
the future may seem less certain. Many unmarried couples may also be
younger, with lower income, and less educated than many married couples.
With so many stresses, it's not surprising that many unmarried couples begin
parenting together with high hopes, but separate within a year or two. A
recent study of unmarried couples with a new baby showed that, at the time of
birth, almost all of the couples wanted to parent together, and most hoped to
marry each other. But by just one year later, nearly one out of three couples
had parted ways. Less than one in eight had married.
Help for families. Stressful as the early years of parenting can be, there are
services available to help ease the stress. Parents can benefit from learning
about baby care, and from support for them as parents. Information and
support about couples issues, stress areas, and the marriage decision may help
them as a couple. Those stressed by practical needs can get help with finances,
housing, health care, job search, and childcare. With help and support, couples
may be better able to get a good start on family life, and to build a stronger
future together.
It's also helpful to know that the stress doesn't last forever. As babies grow,
and families become more settled, most families find that life becomes calmer.
Couples can find more time to be a couple again, but with the added joy of the
child they love together.
Sources
Marriage and Child Wellbeing, Volume 15, Number 2, Fall 2005 of The Future of Children series of the
Brookings Institution.
The Case for Marriage: Why Married People are Happier, Healthier, and Better Off Financially, by
Linda Waite and Maggie Gallagher.
What We Know about Unmarried Parents: Implications for Building Strong Families Programs, by
Carlson, McLanahan, England, and Devaney.
Father Facts, 6th edition, by the National Fatherhood Initiative.
And Baby Makes Three, by John Gottman and Julie Schwartz Gottman.
is born to unmarried parents -- but most of the parents are couples who are
romantically involved and hope to raise their child together. The goal of
raising the child together is a good one, as studies clearly show that all family
members tend to benefit when parents stay together. Children raised to
adulthood by the same two parents tend to be happier, healthier, less likely to
get in trouble, and even to do better in school. And adults tend to be happier,
healthier, have better sex lives, and be better off financially if they marry and
stay married.
Stresses on families. Staying together can benefit a family, but it can also
be tough. As lovable as babies are, they need lots of care. With sleepless
nights and less time for each other, parents can feel the stress. In fact, even
among couples who are married and decide to have a baby, as many as 2 out of
3 feel a major drop in happiness as a couple in the early years after the baby is
born.
Stresses may be even greater on unmarried couples. Not sure if they'll marry,
the future may seem less certain. Many unmarried couples may also be
younger, with lower income, and less educated than many married couples.
With so many stresses, it's not surprising that many unmarried couples begin
parenting together with high hopes, but separate within a year or two. A
recent study of unmarried couples with a new baby showed that, at the time of
birth, almost all of the couples wanted to parent together, and most hoped to
marry each other. But by just one year later, nearly one out of three couples
had parted ways. Less than one in eight had married.
Help for families. Stressful as the early years of parenting can be, there are
services available to help ease the stress. Parents can benefit from learning
about baby care, and from support for them as parents. Information and
support about couples issues, stress areas, and the marriage decision may help
them as a couple. Those stressed by practical needs can get help with finances,
housing, health care, job search, and childcare. With help and support, couples
may be better able to get a good start on family life, and to build a stronger
future together.
It's also helpful to know that the stress doesn't last forever. As babies grow,
and families become more settled, most families find that life becomes calmer.
Couples can find more time to be a couple again, but with the added joy of the
child they love together.
Sources
Marriage and Child Wellbeing, Volume 15, Number 2, Fall 2005 of The Future of Children series of the
Brookings Institution.
The Case for Marriage: Why Married People are Happier, Healthier, and Better Off Financially, by
Linda Waite and Maggie Gallagher.
What We Know about Unmarried Parents: Implications for Building Strong Families Programs, by
Carlson, McLanahan, England, and Devaney.
Father Facts, 6th edition, by the National Fatherhood Initiative.
And Baby Makes Three, by John Gottman and Julie Schwartz Gottman.
Facts about Families
Strengthening Young Families