Strengthening Young Families
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Strengthening Young Families
To truly make this initiative work, however, it's crucial that we clearly understand the needs and goals of
vulnerable families -- and what we must do to better support them. Studies show that, at least at that crucial
time when a baby is born, most unmarried parents are still involved romantically, either living together
(51%) or seeing each other regularly (31%), and most hope to raise their child together. Though often
struggling with practical issues such as low income and limited education, most of the dads are still physically
and financially involved. It's a key window of opportunity, because if these couples do succeed in forming a
strong and permanent family unit, they and their children are far more likely to prosper. By targeting services to
struggling young families with a new infant, we can give these families a chance to thrive -- just as services to
children have the greatest impact if we start at infancy. This doesn't mean extensive and expensive therapy-
style programs, but simply providing basic information and resources to help them to work as a team, parent
effectively, and stabilize their finances. (Indeed, as the recently published early impact report of the federally-
funded Building Strong Families initiative suggests, a shorter, to-the-point service may be better.)
Perhaps even more important than the new public funds is making sure that our existing programs are helping
rather than hurting struggling moms and dads who want to raise their children together. Yet, in fact, many
current social services, including ones supported by federal dollars, unwittingly separate parents
through their service delivery model. For example:
However unintended, the effects of these policies are unwise and unfair. Services or assistance should
never require that moms and dads live apart to get help (as the precursor to today’s Temporary Aid to
Needy Families did for over half a century) . Instead, all housing, family service and education programs
receiving federal funds should be required to set eligibility criteria based upon such widely accepted need
factors as poverty, joblessness, extreme youth of parents, and/or possible child neglect, child abuse or
substance abuse concerns. Any family which qualifies based upon the specified grounds, whether one-parent,
two-parent, or headed by a relative, should receive the needed services. Services should then, whenever
possible, be offered to parenting couples as couples, without unnecessarily dividing them. (One clear
exception, of course, would be in cases of domestic violence, where safety dictates the separate provision of
services.) These standards should be applied to all programs receiving federal funds, including any new
programs under the Fatherhood, Marriage and Families Innovation Fund, or under the recently announced
Affordable Care Act funding.
We are faced with a historic opportunity to help empower more American couples to become as committed and
effective partners as our nation's First Couple, and more American children to be as secure in their family ties
as First Children Malia and Sasha. Can we do it, you and us together? YES WE CAN!
Marianne Takas
Director, Strengthening Young Families
P.S. to President Obama: You've done a great job talking to young men about the importance of responsible
fatherhood -- and your own beautiful family glows with the joys of family life. It would be great if you and Mrs.
Obama could also use the presidential pulpit to speak to young adults of parenting age about how marriage
and family commitment have enhanced your own life. The example of admired leaders is powerful, and young
people need clear models as they make their own choices. As you speak out on this issue, it may help to note
that it is not limited to any one race or cultural group. Among the over 1.5 million babies born annually to
unmarried American parents, about 38% are non-Hispanic white, 31% Hispanic, and 27% non-Hispanic black.
Yet committed, united families is still a dream that most young people share, at least when the baby is born.
With your rare gift for speaking from the heart, you can stress how persistence against challenges, and a little
help when needed, can make that dream work.
vulnerable families -- and what we must do to better support them. Studies show that, at least at that crucial
time when a baby is born, most unmarried parents are still involved romantically, either living together
(51%) or seeing each other regularly (31%), and most hope to raise their child together. Though often
struggling with practical issues such as low income and limited education, most of the dads are still physically
and financially involved. It's a key window of opportunity, because if these couples do succeed in forming a
strong and permanent family unit, they and their children are far more likely to prosper. By targeting services to
struggling young families with a new infant, we can give these families a chance to thrive -- just as services to
children have the greatest impact if we start at infancy. This doesn't mean extensive and expensive therapy-
style programs, but simply providing basic information and resources to help them to work as a team, parent
effectively, and stabilize their finances. (Indeed, as the recently published early impact report of the federally-
funded Building Strong Families initiative suggests, a shorter, to-the-point service may be better.)
Perhaps even more important than the new public funds is making sure that our existing programs are helping
rather than hurting struggling moms and dads who want to raise their children together. Yet, in fact, many
current social services, including ones supported by federal dollars, unwittingly separate parents
through their service delivery model. For example:
- Many “family” shelters house only women and children, while a separate shelter serves homeless
men. Once in the family shelter, the mom may receive a housing voucher for longer term housing, but
the voucher may specify that it is for her and the children. The painful result -- and it happened a few
years ago to a family of dad, mom, and 3 kids our family knew personally -- is that a two-parent family
facing eviction may need to separate just to keep their kids from sleeping on the street.
- Many otherwise excellent parenting programs target services primarily to moms and their
babies, often with a separate “support group” for dads. Again, the provision of separate services to
moms and dads can have the unintended effect of pushing them apart. Additionally, where parenting
services and materials focus most on the mother/child relationship, dads may feel marginalized -- and
find it that much easier to move out of the picture altogether.
- Some college scholarships are granted in part based upon status as a single parent.
Young parents who choose to marry may, as happened to a family who later contacted our organization,
actually lose a scholarship previously granted to one of them, just because they decided to marry and
raise their baby together. In this case, the intent to help needy single-parent families unintentionally
imposes a serious financial penalty on marriage, hurting the most motivated families most.
However unintended, the effects of these policies are unwise and unfair. Services or assistance should
never require that moms and dads live apart to get help (as the precursor to today’s Temporary Aid to
Needy Families did for over half a century) . Instead, all housing, family service and education programs
receiving federal funds should be required to set eligibility criteria based upon such widely accepted need
factors as poverty, joblessness, extreme youth of parents, and/or possible child neglect, child abuse or
substance abuse concerns. Any family which qualifies based upon the specified grounds, whether one-parent,
two-parent, or headed by a relative, should receive the needed services. Services should then, whenever
possible, be offered to parenting couples as couples, without unnecessarily dividing them. (One clear
exception, of course, would be in cases of domestic violence, where safety dictates the separate provision of
services.) These standards should be applied to all programs receiving federal funds, including any new
programs under the Fatherhood, Marriage and Families Innovation Fund, or under the recently announced
Affordable Care Act funding.
We are faced with a historic opportunity to help empower more American couples to become as committed and
effective partners as our nation's First Couple, and more American children to be as secure in their family ties
as First Children Malia and Sasha. Can we do it, you and us together? YES WE CAN!
Marianne Takas
Director, Strengthening Young Families
P.S. to President Obama: You've done a great job talking to young men about the importance of responsible
fatherhood -- and your own beautiful family glows with the joys of family life. It would be great if you and Mrs.
Obama could also use the presidential pulpit to speak to young adults of parenting age about how marriage
and family commitment have enhanced your own life. The example of admired leaders is powerful, and young
people need clear models as they make their own choices. As you speak out on this issue, it may help to note
that it is not limited to any one race or cultural group. Among the over 1.5 million babies born annually to
unmarried American parents, about 38% are non-Hispanic white, 31% Hispanic, and 27% non-Hispanic black.
Yet committed, united families is still a dream that most young people share, at least when the baby is born.
With your rare gift for speaking from the heart, you can stress how persistence against challenges, and a little
help when needed, can make that dream work.
Dear President Obama, Secretary Sebelius, and Director DuBois,
We applaud the recently announced Fatherhood and Mentoring
Initiative, including the proposed Fatherhood, Marriage and
Families Innovation Fund. This is a crucial opportunity to support
and help rebuild America's hurting families -- especially for the
41% of American babies now born each year to unmarried
parents. As you well know, children in a single parent
household are nearly 5 times as likely to be living in poverty
as children in a household with married parents (38% versus
8% in poverty, respectively). Additionally, studies show that
children raised in two-parent households tend to do better in
school, have fewer health problems, report greater happiness,
and are more likely to go on to complete college and become
employed than children whose parents live apart. That's why it's
so important that we all work together to help strengthen our
nation's families.
We applaud the recently announced Fatherhood and Mentoring
Initiative, including the proposed Fatherhood, Marriage and
Families Innovation Fund. This is a crucial opportunity to support
and help rebuild America's hurting families -- especially for the
41% of American babies now born each year to unmarried
parents. As you well know, children in a single parent
household are nearly 5 times as likely to be living in poverty
as children in a household with married parents (38% versus
8% in poverty, respectively). Additionally, studies show that
children raised in two-parent households tend to do better in
school, have fewer health problems, report greater happiness,
and are more likely to go on to complete college and become
employed than children whose parents live apart. That's why it's
so important that we all work together to help strengthen our
nation's families.
An Open Letter to Our Nation's President, Secretary of Health and Human Services, and
Director of Faith-Based and Neighborhood Partnerships:
Director of Faith-Based and Neighborhood Partnerships:
From the Director...
June 30, 2010